Feature
By Tendai Mayo (Not His Real Name) – For many, growing older is a natural process met with respect and care. But for a generation of Zimbabweans entering their golden years while living with HIV, the journey is paved with a unique set of challenges, dominated not by the virus itself, but by the heavy weight of stigma.
The core of the struggle, as shared by many, stems from societal shame.
“Most challenges faced by HIV+ elderly people stem from the ‘shameful’ way HIV is supposed to be acquired,” explains Moyo, who has lived with the virus from young adulthood into his sixties.
This perception paints them as “sexual mischief makers,” casting a shadow of embarrassment over the simple act of collecting life-saving Antiretroviral Therapy (ART) at local clinics.
This fear of judgment often leads to devastating secrecy. Moyo recounts a poignant example:
“When my elder brother tested HIV+ in 2013 his first request to me was to never tell anyone including his wife of 34 years. His other main worry was how his in-laws would view him.”
The dread of being labeled promiscuous or associated with prostitution forces many into isolation, their health a hidden burden.
Compounding the medical and social stigma is the profound challenge of widowhood. Losing a long-term partner is devastating at any age, but for an elderly person with HIV, it can be catastrophic.
“Widowhood comes with loneliness and other related infirmities… [with] devastating effects especially on the mental, emotional and physical wellbeing,” Moyo writes. This grief can be intensified by family dynamics, where adult children, often “very jealous for their dead mother,” may interfere with a father’s private life, complicating his emotional recovery and wellbeing.
Despite these trials, Moyo offers a message of resilience and self-acceptance. His advice is clear and empowering:
“My advice to all elderly people living with HIV is to acknowledge that they’re people just like anyone else and hence have the right to live their lives as they wish. Living with HIV+ in old age is not a crime.”
He advocates for practical steps: prioritizing health through diet and exercise, avoiding toxic situations, and, crucially, accepting one’s current stage in life.
“Elderly HIV+ should avoid competing with younger people… they should avoid venturing into new uncharted territories as this might put unnecessary strain on their mental and emotional health,” he advises.
Most importantly, he urges against dwelling on the past.
“The elderly must avoid regrets and blames for past mistakes… Actually blaming oneself for past errors can cause health problems related to stress.”
For those too shy to collect their medication, he suggests community solutions like joining CARGI groups. Ultimately, his family’s approach serves as a powerful model:
“My family has no problem collecting our medication because we have told ourselves that we have no regrets nor do we need to apologize to anyone.”
It is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and a call for greater understanding and compassion for an often-overlooked segment of society.
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