Charity Nkomo
Gender Affairs and Community Reporter
As dating dynamics continue to evolve in modern relationships, a heated debate is playing out across social media, in conversations, and even in homes: Is it okay for a woman to ask her boyfriend for money or allow him to financially take care of her?
While some argue that there’s nothing wrong with a man supporting his partner, others believe that women should be financially independent and avoid relying on their boyfriends. The divide in opinion is deep—and passionate.
Many women strongly believe that financial support is part of a boyfriend’s responsibilities.
“When I’m in a relationship, I expect my man to take care of me, buy me airtime, bring me gifts, and help when I’m in need. That’s how I know you’re serious,” said Mbalenhle Mzizi
Supporters of this view argue that if a man is unwilling to provide during the dating phase, there’s little chance he’ll change after marriage.
“Some of these guys will never lift a finger for you while dating, then they expect to become providers after marriage? The red flags start early—if he’s stingy now, he’ll be stingy forever.” said Nobuhle, a hairdresser
For these women, asking for money—or expecting financial care—isn’t about being materialistic. It’s about ensuring their partner is responsible and capable.
“A relationship is not just about love, it’s also about support—emotionally, physically, and financially,” Mbalenhle added
But not everyone agrees. A growing number of women are pushing back against this idea, arguing that financial independence is critical for personal freedom and self-respect.
“As a woman, I want to be able to take care of myself, if I let a man do everything for me, some men start to feel like they own me. That’s where control, entitlement, and even abuse can begin,” said Lerato Dube, a 30-year-old
Some women also say they prefer to avoid asking their boyfriends for money because they don’t want to feel like they owe them anything.
“There are guys who expect you to repay every little thing—with your time, attention, or even your body, that’s not love, that’s control,” said one anonymous respondent.
Men, too, have a wide range of opinions. Some agree that providing for their girlfriend is part of the dating commitment, whilst some complain that certain women treat their boyfriends like ATMs.
“They don’t ask, they demand, you’d think you owe them money, and when you say no, suddenly you’re a bad boyfriend” said Thabo
Ultimately, whether or not a woman asks for money—or allows her partner to take care of her—depends on personal values, relationship dynamics, and cultural context.
Love and money remain a delicate dance—and where one draws the line is deeply personal.
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