Natalie Sindile Nyathi
Corporal punishment has always been used as cultural disciplinary measure in the African context to reprimand a child without realizing the psychological and physical effects in the layer years of a child.
Many a times parents and guardians tend to use such as harsh and strong words as, ‘ulilema, uyahlanya, ufuze abangini, ngobubi, ufuze uyihlo, ulizanka, khanda elikhulu’, and some vulgar unprintable words to chasten their child. Coupled to that a child will suffer a beating of their life.
It’s been established that this, however, has psychological effects on the child negatively.
This is regardless of how. old the child is. It maybe from a tender age or teenagers.
Zim GBC News sought expert advice from psychiatrists and psychologists to get their perspective on the issue and Dr. Chirisa had this to say;
“When children are born, they enter in the world with what we call a blank sheet in terms of their mindset, and that mind is then loaded with what they experience, the words that they hear, and how they experience life, so when
parents are using negative words to these kids, they are loading a negative aspect of life into these children.”
He stressed how this will lead to low self-esteem and how difficult it will be to manage in the future of the child as these words are demeaning, degrading and traumatic and in turn these children who have been exposed to such treatment in turn will traumatize others.
Chirisa added;
“These words are so much discouraged and parents should be more comforting because at times (teenagers) become more rebellious and at times one creates a monster from the way they train their child.”
“As Psychologists, we recommend the use of words that are encouraging, building, nurturing their minds to be possible by themselves so that they can become positive about the next person”, he continued.
Chirisa went on to describe how the use of harsh words will lead to depression as it’s not only adults who go on depression but children as well. Once it has been detected at a tender age, it goes a long way and at times into their adulthood and affects their relationships with other people.
“Parents should rebuke to correct and make sure that good words are used in that rebuke as it is very key in psychology and mental health of those children”, he explained.
Recently a 38-YEAR-OLD man from Mashonaland East province allegedly fatally assaulted his 14-year-old daughter, accusing her of having an affair with a married neighbor.
She denied the allegations, but Togara Kanyangira assaulted her until she collapsed. She died the following morning before she could be taken to hospital.
The man handed himself to the police and was remanded in custody. He was allowed to attend the burial but is still behind bars awaiting trail.
“Corporal punishment triggers harmful psychological and physiological responses. Children not only experience pain, sadness, fear, anger, shame, and guilt, but feeling threatened also leads to physiological stress and the activation of neural pathways that support dealing with danger”, said another psychologist Dr. Bongani Mguni
Dr. Mguni said the practice of beating children to modify their behavior, usually referred to as “spanking”, increases the seriousness of bodily violence against children, and also because the term has been co-opted to refer to a type of consensual sexual play.
“Hitting a child is a failure by the adult in many ways. Sometimes adults misunderstand a child’s behavior and ascribe the wrong intention to it. They think the child was purposely trying to make them mad, get back at them for something, show they don’t care, or even take advantage of them. But most often, what an adult calls “misbehavior” is just a mistake on the part of the child. For example, a preschooler may not know that it’s not okay to write on a wall. To them, that big, white expanse looks like a large canvas or the easel they use at school, and they were simply inspired to color it. It can be helpful for adults to learn more about what children are capable of at different ages and channel a child’s inspiration in appropriate directions”
He added that those who were beaten as children often become hitters themselves as our minds employ a common psychological defense to act out the hurt one would have experienced at the hands of others by perpetrating it on other people later, even with those we love.
“This happens when we haven’t become aware of our painful feelings or fully examined them”, said Dr. Mguni
Many African parents have a tendency of using that will affect a teen for many years to come. Parents underestimate the power of the words they use against their children.
The behavior that is thus exuded by the teen therefore culminates from the words they would have heard from their parents.
The use of harsh and demeaning words on a child especially the teenagers of today instills a sense of rebellious behavior and often leads to confrontations towards their parents.
It has since been established that harsh words and corporal punishment is not always an answer or solution to chastening a child but the use of correct words becomes necessary as children respond to the whims of their parents’ behaviors.
Inflicting physical or psychological pain is not recommended, however, parents should rebuke their children to correct and mold them to become good adults as well.