Prominance S.K Khumalo
A growing concern in many communities is the plight of children born outside marriage, who are frequently denied the opportunity to form bonds with their fathers and paternal families.
This exclusion often leads to profound emotional consequences, leaving children feeling isolated and rejected.
In many cases, societal stigma or familial pressures lead paternal relatives to shun these children. Some only discover their paternal heritage later in life—or tragically, upon their father’s death.
For 22-year-old Zinzile Donga, the pain of rejection is all too familiar.
“My maternal aunt once told me, ‘Your father didn’t even have the decency to raise you—what kind of man does that?’” Donga recalled.
Such harsh remarks reflect a broader pattern of blame placed on children for their fathers’ absence. Paternal relatives often justify exclusion by citing “family honor,” shutting the door on relationships before they can begin.
Financial neglect compounds the emotional toll.
Fathers frequently prioritize children from marital unions, leaving those born outside wedlock to navigate hardships alone. Seventeen-year-old Zinzile Gumbo shared his experience:
“I asked my father for school fees last year, but he said, ‘I have to pay your brother’s tuition first—you’re not my real responsibility.’”
Excuses like avoiding “trouble with my wife” or dismissing a child as “not part of my official family” are common.
One anonymous teen girl recounted overhearing her father tell his girlfriend,
“Aaah Mandy, you know I haven’t been paid, I’m sick—the doctor prescribed pills for me to take. And Zandie… I just can’t cover her fees.” She said,
“It broke my heart hearing him lie to this woman.”
Advocates stress that such dynamics inflict lasting harm.
“These children are punished for circumstances beyond their control,” said lawyer and parental rights campaigner Counsellor Mitchell Mpofu.
“Societies must shift from shame to empathy.”
Experts emphasize the importance of dual familial connections for a child’s emotional and psychological development. Without paternal ties, many struggle with identity and belonging.
As societal norms evolve, calls grow for stronger support systems to help children connect with paternal families if desired.
Until then, countless children will continue grappling with the void of an absent family structure—one they did nothing to deserve.
Zim GBC News©️2025