19 January 2022
Londiwe Dube
Empowering women to be on equal slates with men has seen them engage in extra-extra abnormalities in the sake of the ‘my rights’ mantra.
The abnormalities that women are now engaging in would be a taboo in yesteryear lifestyle.
Many women have taken to normalising the abnormal and expect the general public to accept or embrace such acts.
The more the world evolve, the more women engage in wierd activities. The more the changes in technology the more the women shift from the straight life to the extreme.
There are numerous wierd and out of the norm acts that women of today have engaged in. Some just adopt and follow foreign customs as if it were fashion.
Some pierce their nose, tongue, naval, and worse their private parts. Some have taken to tattooes, some its dressing and some its drinking liquor, the list is becoming endless.
Not disputing the fact that women need to be ‘independent’ and counted as equals with men in this ever changing world, the freedom sought by women has been rather wayward.
Some or most of the things women demand lack wisdom, value, morals and decency.
This is all because of equality or rights.
But what value or stature will a woman acquire when they are engaging in multiple sexual relationships?
The practice of polyandry, women having as many husbands as possible, was brought about by the ancient civilization where a woman would marry two brothers for financial gains.
Research reveals that fraternal polyandry was, and sometimes still is, found in certain areas of Tibet, Nepal, Northern India and Central African cultures where polyandry was accepted as a social practice. The Toda people of Southern India practice fraternal polyandry, but monogamy has become prevalent recently.
Fraternal polyandry is practiced among Tibetans in Nepal and parts of China, in which two or more brothers are married to the same wife, with the wife having equal “sexual access” to them. It is associated with partible paternity, the cultural belief that a child can have more than one father. Several ethnic groups practicing polyandry in India identify their customs with their descent from Draupadi, a central character of the Mahabharta who was married to five brothers, although local practices may not be fraternal themselves.
Polyandry is believed to be more likely in societies with scarce environmental resources. It is believed to limit human population growth and enhance child survival. It is a rare form of marriage that exists not only among peasant families but also among the elite families.
For example, polyandry in the Himalayan mountains is related to the scarcity of land. The marriage of all brothers in a family to the same wife allows family land to remain intact and undivided. If every brother married separately and had children, family land would be split into unsustainable small plots. In contrast, very poor persons not owning land were less likely to practice polyandry in Buddhist Ladakh and Zanskar. In Europe, the splitting up of land was prevented through the social practice of impartible inheritance.
Kenya Kay Stevens, a polyamorous woman confirms in a Ride Along Television Talk Show that she has 2 official husbands and as many other boyfriends outside marriage.
She says having multiple relationships has made her life easier because she does not get to seek attention from any one man.
“I am a natural woman, I love attention, I love affection, I love touch, I love to connect and I love doing things that I love to do when I don’t want to force men into doing them”, Stevens explains herself.
Polyamory has been seen dominating especially in feminists communities where women are vowing to be capable of doing exactly what men are doing without worrying about the consequences of societal rule.
This crop of women, more often engage in outrageous activities to prove that having a man around is no longer a virtue as used to be but a pleasure as Stevens explains;
“I wanna go skiing, my husband doesn’t wanna go skiing so I’ve someone to go skiing with, my husband doesn’t wanna play chess, I’ve someone to play chess with.”
Stevens elaborates that she is a polyamorous woman as she does not own her husbands nor boyfriends and vice versa.
She distinguished between a polyandry and a polyamory, where she says the latter allows all parties to have many other relationships with no sense of possessiveness.
The polyamorous woman says her husbands can ‘happily’ have other partners.
“I want my husbands to have many women, it shows how powerful one is, meaning they can connect with many women, taking care of them…at the end of the day the whole community would be taken care of.”
It was noted in interviews conducted that the majority of young women are in agreement with Stevens while trying to fight the cultural customs which they say are always in favour of men.
“The same way women are labelled ‘witches’ whilst men are said to ‘have their things protecting them’ is the same way polygamy is allowed and not polyandry or polyamory because the society is full of ‘men are like that statements’. People should do what pleases them, after all”, said Maria Mpofu, 35.
While the youths are saying it is okay for a woman to have as many husbands and boyfriends, elderly women are in denial of this ‘abormination’
“No matter how much learned a woman is, her role is to keep a family together by the virtue of being a mother and wife. A woman is someone who would brag about being a loyal wife not having many relationships. It is an abormination and a disgrace to the African societies.” said another woman who preferred anonymity
“This is a normal practice in other countries like India, but it can never work for Africans. We have our culture and in actual sense, men can have as many wives as possible because culturally it is a way of showing his wealth. It’s nothing new, how many wives did King Mzilikazi have? The Bible supports that as well. As a matter of fact, no man in his normal senses will agree to live with other men as brothers in marriage. It is low”, added Ezekiel Moyo, an elderly man.
Although Stevens mentioned quite a number of reasons in regard to having many men in her life, the underlining factor is the general desire for all women to have as many men taking care of them.
“The Bible does not allow either men or women to have as many partners. The original intent of God was one man one woman. The issue of marriage was God’s idea, not man’s and Genesis says that God made Eve as Adam’s helper. He didn’t create two women but it was only one Eve for Adam and one Adam for Eve. African culture then tried bringing in the issue of polygamy which they said it was a way of growing a clan. We have never heard of women having many husbands, it is abormination and a sin before the Lord”, said Pastor M. Ndlovu of Harvest House International Church.
The major role of a woman in marriage is to keep and manage the household, grow the family name.
That being the case, it should be impossible for a woman to manage more than one household.