08 December 2021
Londiwe Dube
Culture and Heritage Reporter.
Technological tools have over the years equipped people with a fairly open platform to discuss issues that are a menace to the society at large and amongst these is the issue of Gender Based Violence(GBV).
It requires no rocket scientist to postulate that the crisis of GBV has turned to be biased towards woman. Because of desktop advocates and influx of information on social media GBV has been all about how men are abusive towards women and little effort is being made to show how the phenomenon is vice versa.
For better and safer communities one has to also adresss the aspect of men not only as perpetrators but as victims.
The patriarchal communities have raised men under the notion that; “indoda ayikhali” and more often they are bombarded with silly phrases such as ‘be a man, man up’ forgetting that they are human beings, after all.
An increase in the number of reported cases related to GBV has attracted the attention of relevant stakeholders to come up with educative programmes to promote fair and peaceful relations amongst men and women and across all age groups to achieve violence free communities.
Meanwhile, various stakeholders inclusive of the government and United Nations have joined hands to mark the 16 Days of activism against gender based violence under the global theme: “Orange the world; End violence against women and girls now!”
Gender Based Violence programmes are commemorated annually from the 25th of November to the 10th of December with the objective of achieving a zero tolerance of GBV.
In as much as the term gender is concerned, two groups of people are involved; men and women, but these programs are often overrated and as such, they are a vilification to men.
Because of the number of cases of abuse of women, the nation at large has turned a blind eye to the fact that women, as well, are violent.
In reality, women are also perpetrators of GBV and have taken advantage of the mere fact that men will never stand up and report them, mainly because of men pride, but it is of paramount importance that the organisations reach out to families to investigate on such issues.
Yes, women are more exposed to abuses in marriages and more often young girls are forced into child marriages on the basis of culture and nowadays, financial issues.
The society has taken the issue of GBV very far, giving women power that they then misuse to actually put men in compromising situations while hiding behind the ‘my rights’.
The interviews conducted amongst both men and women pointed out that these programmes are sometimes misleading because some of the things that they facilitate are not practical and they create tension in marriages.
Taking a cultural stance, a man is considered as the provider and protector of the family. If women conferences are to say women have same qualities as men, hence they are saying the two should perform equal roles both in a family and societal level, which most women have failed.
Culturally and Biblically, women are called to be submissive to their male counterparts and that men should protect them, not abuse them.
For a fact, African men will never detach themselves from their cultural practices and in many instances that is where the society is missing the point because of the cultural dilution.
Gender based violence programs, as they appear, are emerging from radical feminism which is a social movement fighting to put women on top of men in all aspects of life, to say, there are some things that women can do better than men and that is a subject of debate till to date.
These feminists are all over the world trying to dominate and hence they come through women, and make them feel like they are being belittled by men so they can push the agenda forward.
The Min. Of States for Provincial Affairs and Devolution, Judith Ncube said that empowerment of women on the economic aspect will eradicate violence against women. Statistics show that women who are dependent on men are more exposed to abuse hence maybe instead of wasting resources facilitating such programmes, the government should provide women with employment.
She was speaking at a commemoration of 16 days against Gender Based Violence in Bulawayo.
One man who had attended the commemoration yesterday gave the following comment;
“Gender based violence is advocated as a way of minimising abuse that is perceived to be directed mostly on women, over the years organisations have been preaching the gospel of ending GBV but to no avail. They need to put necessary measures to investigate the causes of gender based violence. In most cases men do not report women perpetrators for the fear of being undermined by the society but this does not mean they are not abused by women.”
Another comment came from a Pumula police station officer, Constable Ncube and she gave the following insight:
“When we talk about Gender based violence, it is not a one way street but it is a two way street. We have recieved cases of men being abused as well by their wives. So as police officers we say stop all forms of violence in homes”
“As women are up in arms advocating for an end to violence, I strongly suggest that the same energy should be channeled in addressing how men are also victims of abuse in their day today lives. A woman manipulating a man into giving her money by promising him sex or love is okay but tables turn if it’s a man tricking a woman into having sex by pretending to love her”, commented a man from Young Men Christian Association(YMCA), who preferred anonymity.
It is therefore of paramount importance that when talking about GBV one should not be biased towards women but to be just and fair so as to accommodate those few men that go through the same though are likely not not report such incidents.
As the nation is gearing towards vision 2030, there is a dire need to establish platforms for men to talk about what they go through so as to create a generation that cordially cohabitate.