Prominance Sinomusa Khumalo
Polygamy, the practice of marrying multiple wives, has been a topic of interest and controversy for centuries. While some cultures and religions embrace it as a norm, others view it as immoral or illegal. In recent years, polygamy has gained attention in the media, sparking debates about its validity and place in modern society.
One of the primary criticisms of polygamy is the disproportionate impact it has on women. In many polygamous societies, men hold the power to take multiple wives, while women are expected to accept sharing their spouse. This power imbalance has often lead to competition, jealousy, and resentment among the wives.
“Lokho MaKhu akufihlwa kunje umama ongizalayo lomamncane ekuzalweni kwami ngathola bengazwani, becabangelana izinto ezimbi waze wayabhubha umama kulokuxabana phakathi kwabo bobabili. Bencintisana lathi thina abantwana baze basifaka ku competition yakhona”. Elaborated Mandla Ndlovu who said he comes from a Gatsheni polygamous family.
My mum and stepmother never saw eye to eye. When I was born there had this bitterness between them, they ended recruiting us children in their battles
Studies have also shown higher rates of domestic abuse and depression among women in polygamous marriages. Polygamy can also have detrimental effects on children, as the large family sizes and complex dynamics may mean less individual attention and resources. There are concerns about the psychological impacts on children growing up in these households.
Proponents of restricting polygamy argue that the practice inherently disempowers women and enables the exploitation of vulnerable individuals. Polygamy is seen by many as incompatible with principles of gender equality and human rights.
However, despite the significant criticisms, advocates of polygamy argue that the practice can provide benefits in specific circumstances. In societies with skewed gender ratios, where there are more women than men, polygamy can offer an alternative for women who may otherwise remain unmarried. Polygamous families may also be able to pool resources and provide more support for children and elderly relatives. Some contend that polygamy can strengthen familial bonds and community ties, with the shared responsibility of household duties and childcare alleviating the burden on individual spouses.
Tendai Macheka from ama2k generation agreed to the paragraph above and said,
“It is better to be in a polygamous marriage than being a lesbian. I mean women we are too many so sharing a man is better than promoting a sin. And that way no one will remain unmarried.”
In certain cultural and religious contexts, polygamy remains an accepted and even expected practice. For example, in parts of Africa, the Middle East, and Asia, polygamy is deeply rooted in tradition and can be viewed as a sign of wealth and social status for men. Some argue that polygamy allows for the support and care of more women and children within a community.
A staunch believer in African tradition Chisvetu still concideres polygamy as a good practice as he said,
“Women of nowadays do not want to bear more than 3 babies and I will be wanting more so in order for me to get more than 3 babies I then concider marrying other 2 woman so that I get 9 children.
“Another serious aspect is that us blacks have lost our culture and are quick to borrow Western traits. Polygamy is traditional across children and it is found in Bible. Having many children was part and parcel of our lives, again it is there in the Bible. The Patriarchs had several wives and many children.”
Chisvetu explained that it is the White man who has brought a lot of changes from his culture into us Africans. We are losing our identity and Heritage because Western influences.
Ultimately, the debate surrounding polygamy remains a complex and multifaceted issue. As society continues to grapple with balancing individual rights, cultural traditions, and principles of equality, finding the right approach to this practice remains an ongoing challenge.
Polygamous relationships can provide economic benefits, as multiple wives can contribute to the household income. In some cultures, polygamy is seen as a way to increase economic stability and ensure the well-being of the family. Additionally, polygamous families can provide a built-in support system, with multiple partners sharing responsibilities and emotional support.
However, polygamy also comes with its challenges. Legal issues arise, as polygamy is illegal in some countries, leading to potential prosecution and social stigma. Emotional challenges also come into play, as jealousy, competition, and communication problems can arise.
Gogo Manyathi who is a vendor along 10th avenue and Robert Mugabe Way shared this with this reporter,
Yebo kudala isithembu sasikhona mntanami kodwa sona sasingalunganga. Yebo wawuthola abafazi bendele endodeni eyodwa kodwa ungakhangelisisa abasifazane kudala babencidenzelwa kakhulu. Ukuthi indoda ingathi ifuna ukuthatha omunye umfazi wena wale wayekutshaya, kumbe uhlalelwe idale obabakazi bekhulume lawe uze uvume. Phela ukubuyela ngakini futhi kwakuyangisa kakhulukazi. Yikho umfazi wayebekezela avume khonokho okuyabe kufunwa ngumkakhe. Kodwa ungakhangela indoda isibe SELFISH ngoba yona indoda kayinaki ukuthi umuntu abaphilisanayo iphatheke njani.
Besesibuya kwezemikhuhlane, ukhangela kudala kwakungela mikhuhlane eminengi nengi yikho babengasabi ukulala lomuntu oyedwa bebabili. Kwakungela oAIDS, oHIV, oGonnorhea leminye imikhuhlane etholakala abantu bengaya emacansini. Kodwa lezi insuku akusathenjwana muntu loba emuhle njani ngeke ukukwazi okuphakathi komuntu so esimeni esinjalo ngeke uthi uba sesithenjini”.
Off course polygamy was practiced in the olden era. Yes several women would be spouses to one man. But this may mean women were oppressed. A family court was instituted for the elder wive to agree with coming of another wife. It was also difficult to leave the marriage and go back home, so you had to stay but I say the husband or man was being Selfish.
Polygamy had the advantage of minimizing Sexual Transmitted Infections. But now with HIV and such diseases you can’t trust anyone anymore.
The practice of polygamy has its roots in Biblical times, with prominent figures like Abraham, Jacob, and David having multiple wives. However, the Bible also contains passages that emphasize monogamy and equal treatment of all spouses. In modern times, some religious groups, such as certain Mormon fundamentalist sects, continue to practice polygamy as a way to adhere to their religious beliefs.
Chisvetu then refered to the Bible saying.
“Even Israelites married more than 1 wife and the Bible does not condemn that as sin. As Africans we have lost our traits our culture and identity. We allowed the white man brainwash us to an extent that we now believe that what our fore parents did was insane. Most Africans even when given a chance to grasp their culture back won’t be able or won’t agree to it cause they’re full of Westernisation. “
But Mr Bhebhe was against Mr Chisvetu’s point of view saying
“Yes Jacob, David and Abraham were in polygamous but that doesn’t mean that God aproved it. That is why he created Adam and he saw that he was lonely he then created Eve. He didn’t create 2 Eves because he knew that Eve was going to satisfy Adam. So with this men learn to be satisfied with that woman that you have and stop cheating your wives hiding by the statement “ITS OUR CULUTURE”,remember that God who created Adam and Eve is the same God who created you Africans who want to promote infedelity”.
Polygamy is also an integral part of some cultural practices, particularly in Africa and the Middle East. It’s often seen as a symbol of wealth, status, and masculinity. However, its practice can also be influenced by poverty, lack of education, and gender inequality.
As the world becomes increasingly globalized, the practice of polygamy has sparked intense debates about cultural relativism, human rights, and gender equality. Critics argue that polygamy perpetuates patriarchal attitudes, reinforces gender-based discrimination, and can lead to exploitation and abuse.
On the other hand, proponents of polygamy argue that it is a legitimate cultural and religious practice that should be respected and protected. They point out that polygamy can provide a sense of community and belonging for women, particularly in societies where single motherhood is stigmatized.
In recent years, some countries have taken steps to recognize and regulate polygamous relationships. For example, South Africa and Zimbabwe have introduced legislation that allows for the recognition of customary marriages, including polygamous unions.
However, the road to recognition and acceptance is long and fraught with challenges. Many polygamous families face discrimination, stigma, and social exclusion, making it difficult for them to access basic rights and services.
As the debate around polygamy continues, it is essential to approach the issue with nuance and sensitivity. Rather than dismissing or demonizing the practice, we should strive to understand its complexities and contexts.
By engaging in open and respectful dialogue, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and accepting society that recognizes the diversity of human relationships and experiences. Ultimately, the future of polygamy will depend on our ability to balance tradition and modernity, culture and human rights.
Polygamy is a complex and multifaceted issue, with both positive and negative aspects. While it’s an important part of some cultural and religious traditions, it’s essential to acknowledge the potential challenges and legal implications. Ultimately, the decision to engage in polygamy should be made with careful consideration and mutual consent among all parties involved.
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