The Unintended Consequences of Gender Equality in African Marriages
Brunette Tshuma
“Chakafukidza dzimba matenga” (the roof covers or hides many happenings) is an African idiom which is used to tell or spell that there are many things bad or good that happen or take place in one’s household shieldes from the public eye.
Many households stood the test of time because of this Ideom as many challenges were resolved away from the scrutiny of the neighbor’s eye.
The emergence of gender equality in African culture has led to unforeseen outcomes in marriages. While aimed at empowering women, it has resulted in men withdrawing support from their wives and families.
This unforseen circumstance developed as women took to women fora popularly known as ‘clubs’ were matters that were previously covered by the roof were made public.
Previously it was a man’s duty to take care of his family and household. A real man would sweat out in fulfilling this natural duty. This has changed as women sought the same balance with the man.
“Gender equality has come to mean no submission, competition, or compromise in marriage…, two bulls in one kraal has turned into a dagger pointed at women’s hearts.” Said Mai Angie who is suffering the consequences of misinterpreted gender equality.
Women are now expected to take on all responsibilities, leading to a lack of affection and love in the home.
“There is no more affection in the house. Love has departed because I have become the husband and wife of the house.” Continued Mai Angie
Men justify their actions, claiming women no longer care about them and disrespect them due to their newfound independence.
“Women no longer care about their husbands because they are working… Why should I support my wife when she can provide for herself?” Asked Tawanda Masodze
Some men believe gender equality means women want to take on men’s responsibilities, leading them to abandon their duties.
“The woman said she wants to be a man, I never said I want to be a woman… I’ll give you my manly duties, that’s it.” Said Edison.
Others argue that nature dictates different responsibilities for men and women, and no amount of work can change that.
“Nature has it that the man is the head of the family, and the woman is the helper… Women can’t fill the gap of responsibility that belongs to the man.” Mr. Masache
Women continue to plead with men to stand true to their identity and responsibilities as heads of the household.
“Let the man stand as a man and consider his duty and responsibility as the head of the house… Let the woman stand as a woman and submit, regardless of her income.”
Another killer-punch to marriages is feminism. Because women become too radical and men are victimized and targeted, in some cases women have misused the term to get away with inappropriate behaviour all in the name of gender equality.
It is for this reason that many men have since taken a laid back stance and watched as women misfire and destroy marriages and family because of the misinterpretation of gender equality.
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