Prominance Khumalo
When a marriage ends, the consequences can be far-reaching and devastating for both the parties involved. While women often face significant financial and emotional challenges, men also have a lot to loose in a divorce.
The financial burden of divorce can be significant, with men often expected to bear the brunt of the costs. This includes maintenance and child support payments, legal fees, and the division of assets and property.
Mr. Mthali now very old, said he lost his family, when marriage to his wife was severed. He lost respect, dignity in the society, property and his children.
“When I lost my beautiful wife or maybe she lost me or we lost each other I was emotionally drained, I lost the relationship with my children. I was left with nothing because she took everything (property) to go and start her new life”.
World over in matters of divorce, children under the age of eighteen, or minors, automatically are given into the custody of the mother unless there are mitigating circumstances.
Custody battles can also be a significant source of stress and emotional pain for men. Despite being capable and loving parents, they may be denied custody or visitation rights, leading to feelings of loss and disconnection from their children. The emotional toll of divorce should not be underestimated, with men often experiencing depression, anxiety, and feelings of failure and inadequacy.
Divorce can also lead to loss of identity and purpose, as men struggle to come to terms with their new role and status. The social stigma surrounding divorce can further exacerbate these feelings, leaving men judged and ostracized by their community, friends, and family.
The impact of divorce on family structure and relationships should also not be overlooked. Men may feel like they’ve lost their role as a husband, father, and provider, leading to feelings of emptiness and disconnection. Relationships with children, friends, and extended family members may also be affected, leading to a sense of isolation and disconnection.
Divorce has far-reaching consequences for men, affecting their financial, emotional, and social wellbeing. By acknowledging and addressing these hidden consequences, we can work towards a more empathetic and supportive approach to divorce, ensuring that both parties receive the help they need to rebuild their lives.
A middle aged woman from Makokoba who gave her name as NaMelissa shared with this reporter that it is not fair for a couple to share 50/50 especially when the other partner had nothing to bring on the table. This usually affects men as they are the ones who work hard and provide money to buy property but when divorcing the woman takes half of the properties that she did not buy”.
It’s essential to recognize that divorce is a significant life changer that can impact men’s mental health, social connections, and sense of identity. By acknowledging these challenges, we can work to create a more supportive environment for men navigating divorce.
One way to do this is by encouraging open conversations about divorce and its effects on men. We need to create a culture where men feel comfortable sharing their emotions and struggles without fear of judgment or stigma.
Additionally, we need to provide resources and support specifically tailored to men’s needs during divorce. This can include counseling, support groups, and legal guidance that addresses their unique challenges.
“uyabona nkazana okubuhlungu yikuthi abantu sebengena ku relationship bele target. Kabasangeni ku relationship besiya thanda umuntu. Bavele balenhloso yabo ukuthi bafuna ukusuka be benefiteni. Abafazi kabasafuni kutshada lendoda engela mali noma imota ngoba uvele ulama targets akhe. So umthemtho lo uwrong.”
By working together, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for everyone navigating divorce. Let’s break down the stigmas and stereotypes surrounding divorce and work towards a more empathetic and understanding society.
Author and divorce coach, Mandy Walker once said,
“Divorce is not a failure, it’s a new chapter. Let’s embrace it with courage, resilience, and support.”
However some say it is fair share the property.
“Divorce is demon biblically, but that doesn’t stop a couple from sharing their property when they have decided to take that parth” said Mr P Nkomo
Zim GBC News