Clive Thabo Dube
A drinking bar has always been a men’s place of fun, to release off some heavy steam and drowns sorrows with a brown bottle.
But most times many find themselves in nirvana after being smitten.
When a man goes out for a couple of drinks in a local public space with fellow mates, he does so in hope for a good time and maybe a one night stand, not to find a wife there. Females who go out to a bar and drink like their counterparts are labelled negatively and are perceived to be there fishing for men and money.
However, a Bulawayo resident by the name of Marvellous Ncube said not all females who frequent drinking spots are ‘Bar Rangers’ with a mission of promiscuity and can actually be wife material.
“Love is built on an agreement and democracy. As such, when you choose to be with someone you must love her the way she is. Whether you found her in a bar, she can be a good wife. The way you treat her will change her from that person you pictured the time you met in the pub,” Said Ncube.
He further added that,
“It is a misconception that all females who sit on barstools are whores.”
However, some men are not easily blinded by love and believe a bar is the most common place to meet someone to be easily acquainted with and forget they exist the next day. For that reason alone, some men are skeptical into marrying a woman who is a ‘Bar Ranger’.
Vusumuzi Mthupha, in his mid thirties who drink at a city bar, said it is not a problem marrying a person you would have connected with on the entertainment house. But whosoever chooses that move, must be able to live with the consequences that will follow and not be over heels towards his partner.
Mthupha said when you get hold of a ‘pot of gold’ nestled in beer-halls accept the rust it comes with because she is a plume not an excellent investment project. She will continue to have her ways and live the life you found her living.
“When you meet a woman at a bar and you decide to make her your wife, you must first accept she has had other men before you. That way you will have peace of mind with her under one roof. Also allow her to do her things…you found her in a place of thigh vendors so when she goes out and come back with some money or see her being handled by other man do not assault her
“What you saw in her (private part) is something she did not buy, its natural so she must dish it out for men to enjoy. You must be able to live with that if you marry someone you met at such a place.” Vusumuzi Mthupha said.
One heavy drinker residing in Makhokhoba Suburb identified as Charles Gwaidzo said he has had numerous sexual intimacy with other females he used to drink with before they went on to tie the knot. He revealed that even after they became married they continue to come back for a quality time and still get intoxicated.
Charles advised men not to marry a woman who drinks in public citing that individual will not be loyal in the marriage.
“Such a person is yours when you are with her. When she goes out of the house, she becomes ours (drinkers). Mind you this person, you found her as a drinker so what ever you try to tell her as a husband, she will reply you by saying ‘you found me this way’. So she can not be a cupboard/ suitcase (stay home wife) nor daycare wife…She is a savior who saves men who are stressed out, sex starved and single men.” Said Gwaidzo.
He said a female who drinks in open spaces lacks self- respect and brings shame to her family and shows no integrity.
It has sort of become a prognostic social norm that both men and women alike to go to bars looking to engage in sexual activities and have fun at the end of the day. At a bar, there are many different types of women to be found, these include singletons, married women, the sideliner, the cougar, the desperado amongst others.
These types of groups come under a variety of moods, some will be brimming with excitement while others will be in a sad state or depression.
“What I know is thina (we) as people we have got different characteristics and this generation many of the guys really love to go and chill with their ladies in bars. So they are the ones who take us there and if he wants to marry, then l will able to change my habit.” Said Delight Rose Mare.
In rare chances, one can find a wife material in a bar given how your luck runs. Some females drink in bars to catch a buzz on special occasions with friends and not get sloshed to be easily taken advantage of