Sithembinkosi L Jiyane
Love once followed a clear path. You met, you courted, you committed. Today, that path has been disrupted by screens, timelines, and endless notifications.
Social media has reshaped how people communicate, and in the process, it has normalized behaviors that are quietly damaging relationships. One of the most visible of these is ghosting.
On social media, attention has become currency. Messages are left unread, replies delayed, and silence is often used as a tool rather than an accident.
Nqobile Ndlovu argues that this behavior is no longer random. Ghosting, he says, is calculated.
“People aren’t necessarily being rude or neglectful, they’re putting on an act. Ghosting and slow replies are all part of the performance,” he said.
Platforms encourage people to appear busy, desirable, and emotionally unavailable. Delayed responses signal value. Silence creates curiosity. In this environment, communication turns into strategy, and relationships become competitions for attention rather than spaces for honesty. Love shifts from genuine emotion to survival in a digital marketplace.
This culture has serious consequences. Ghosting erodes trust, creates anxiety, and leaves people emotionally stranded without closure. Relationships become shallow and fragile, easily abandoned when something “better” appears online.
Men feel pressure to impress and perform, women feel pressure to calculate and protect themselves, and emotional honesty becomes optional.
As Ndlovu observes:
“The problem isn’t love disappearing, it’s that effort and emotional honesty have become optional.”
Marriages and long-term partnerships are increasingly judged through transactional lenses, who pays, who benefits, who compromises more. The emotional foundation weakens, replaced by convenience and image. Technology, while offering freedom of choice, has also made it easier to walk away without explanation.
Yet, genuine relationships still exist, even in this digital chaos. They require intentional resistance to social media habits that promote ghosting and emotional avoidance.
A genuine relationship in the digital age demands consistency, clear communication, and accountability. It means responding honestly instead of disappearing, choosing conversation over silence, and valuing connection over performance.
Ndlovu points out that modern love demands growth, not games.
“Modern love doesn’t wait for you to grow up, it tests whether you can grow together.”
Healthy relationships today must actively shun behaviors normalized online, ignoring messages to appear important, entertaining multiple emotional options, or treating people as disposable. Instead, they must be built on trust, humor, presence, and vulnerability. Love becomes a daily practice, not a highlight reel.
The old “longback” relationships had structure and guidance. Today’s relationships have freedom, but freedom without responsibility leaves emotional wreckage. The challenge is not technology itself, but how people choose to engage with it.
The question remains: are we willing to step out of the performance? Are we ready to choose effort over ego, honesty over silence, and commitment over convenience? Modern love may be difficult, but it still rewards the brave, those willing to show up fully, without filters, facades, or shortcuts.
Modern love isn’t for the lazy. It’s for those willing to love deliberately, and to play wisely in a world where disappearing has become easy, but real connection still matters.
Stay Connected with Zim GBC News:
· X (Twitter): @ZimGbc
· Instagram: @ZimGBCNews
· TikTok: @ZimGBCNews_01
· Facebook: Zim GBC News
· YouTube: Zim GBC News
Get real-time alerts on WhatsApp:
+263 773 820 323
Zim GBC News | Global News From An African Perspective©2026